till DEATH do us part...

Wow! The greatest stories I have heard or watched on TV tend to be struggle victories. You know, for some peculiar reason they keep me so engaged to the very last moment. It's just something about seeing or hearing the person at their whits end, and still to every last breath they are pushing through every last barrier. Ahhh I love those so much, so inspiring and captivating. Why do I bring up such a random tangent or thought?

The Struggle:
One week ago I found out that my 40 mile race would need to be postponed. This was for multiple reasons and truly was a very logical decision.

It had come to the point in my training where I was not excelling beyond where I needed to be. I wasn't hitting certain milestones and wasn't in the range for total mileage needed to survive such an endevour. 

On top of being at my whit's end with my actual running, I had a few conscious decision to make in regards to my personal business. The entire trip for me, being at a distance, would have cost a portion of money that could be allocated in other areas to strengthen other people. 

I was distraught on every level with every facet of my life.

The Victory:
I began reading and serving other people. 

One thing I have learned recently is that we are very selfish creatures. Left alone to our own vices, we would probably sit around and wallow in self-pity and anguish over such a decision(My Opinion). I was often told just go and serve other people and read you way through a problem or situation. This will take the focus of yourself and turn that huge mountain inside your head, into the molehill it truly is.  

I mean lets be honest there are races literally everyday all across the US, it's really not that serious. 

The voices flooded in though, 'Ryan you trained for this, you deserve this, this is your race, how could you do this". It felt like I couldn't escape "me was getting the best of me".

I pushed through it all, and made a decision that would be of greater impact 5 years from now. 

The Resolve:
I decided to post-pone my October 5th 40 mile race. I will be training for an even bigger, better race. It is set in the early portion of next year. I am continuing to train as it is a 50 mile road/gravel/trail race. It will surely be one of the most beautiful and amazing experiences I have ever be on, and I couldn't be more happy. 

I'm excited to be able to blog a different part of my journey now moving forward. 
This one.....kinda just like a marriage. When both parties say their vows to each other and they share their heart deepest intricacies, they always end with "Till death do us part.." 

Part two of the journey starts now. Till death do I part with this DREAM.


Ryan 
 

The great eschew......

Well this week was a phenomenon week. It seems as though when a person is headed in one straight direction it upsets the chemistry of everyone around them. You may be thinking well of course that is true it happens all the time......and what does that have to do with running? or your training? are you going to tell me something helpful? and what does that weird word in the title mean anyway?

This entire week I have been battling and overcoming(Notice I claim it as a VICTORY!) various bouts of negative energy and discord. One thing I have learned, is several other influences can make you more susceptible to ingesting this energy into your body. Which is never a good thing. We were created to be good, wholesome, amazing creatures, our bodies feel right when positive pure energy is flowing through it.

So this week I had literally reached a breaking point! My spirit had enough and I was becoming aggressive, I would take it out on the trails multiple days a week. It just wasn't helping though...I couldn't release it. My runs were getting tighter, including many sub-8 miles inside the trails, which is monumental to me and my training plan. I wasn't growing as a result though. This was supposed to be a journey, a transition, a new breath, challenge, something to strive for...had it come up short? NO!

That tangent brings me to Saturday morning. A 5am alarm and a 20mile adventure awaited.



For the first time since my full marathon, I logged 20 miles straight. That day I was awake for 23 hours straight!?!!!? How in the world I did that I haven't the slightest clue. I had a BREAKTHROUGH. My body was cleansed and purged, completely rid of the stain that negative energy had left on me. That run renewed me, my spirit, my life.

Long story short....hahaah does that count if I already told the story? and its long? Anyway today I'm exhausted but for a good reason!

I hope that you never forget your DREAM! But this week taught me, I hope you don't think your DREAM will be easy.


Small side note:(I promise)
Yesterday Was a huge cheat day after that week of training and the long run. I completely binged out on unwholesome food and high carbohydrates and calories. Today is back to the grind on my partial vegetarian lifestyle. I will dream about yesterday though, because those wings and soda.....they were amazing! This week taught me to listen to my heart and stick to whats true! You should consider a cheat day for mental health.

Ryan